Can someone please tell me what's wrong with my son? What is my son feeling?

I have a son and he has lots of problems like... Mild Mental Retardation, Mild Autism , Mild ADHD, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm person, Anxitey & etc. A few days a go he called me a (b word).. He spelled it out. he hit me , he is disrespectful to me sometimes / sometimes he's just sweet to me. Whenever his dad is around he tends to be mean to me. he says im the devil , I'm a B word, tells me to die , prayed for me to die...etc. I have no insurance so I cant get him to see his psychologist. When his dad isn't around he's never mean to me. He doesn't say anything to me. He told me he wanted to feed my body to the wolfs, because he saw that on tv show (lookup). He never told his dad to die... what am I doing wrong? he's never mean to his dad at all. I have problems too. I have MS / Parkisons. It takes a while to calm him down when he's upset, i have use calming words to calm him down / sometimes it takes 3 hours. What's wrong with my son? Am i doing something wrong/ by the way when I said he prayed for me to die, he told me that in my face. What is my son feeling?